Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
