and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize