She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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