Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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