I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Randomize
