It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Randomize
