I didn't shave. On purpose
I want to walk on stilts...naked
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
Randomize
