so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
