Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
