.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
