She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize