piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
