just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
