4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
okay pat passed out under dana's car
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Randomize
