To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
