i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
