Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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