I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
