we made out on top of his cat.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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