I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
