Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Alive.
So much puke
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
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