I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
