ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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