i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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