He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
You pole danced in your parka.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
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