nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
