woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Dear god my vagina.
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