I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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