And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
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