In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
