somebody snuck up and got me drunk
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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