If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize