I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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