Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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