you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
