I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
