he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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