We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
