I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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