ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
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