do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
