You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
