i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
