Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
