The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Randomize
