You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
