She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
