Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Pappa wants mamma naked
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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