My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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