hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Nicole vs. Life
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
Randomize
