I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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