Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
