DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
