Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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