It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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