That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
Randomize
