Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
