i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
