You're my little dorito
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
