i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
