Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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